whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
