That's when you crack a 10am beer
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
