Is it because I queefed?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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