I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
