You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
