did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
