I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
