so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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