addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
