you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
