I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
