So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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