when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have already put on my inside pants.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
