I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
