You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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