Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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