Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
