Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
