3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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