dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize