how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
