Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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