Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
