You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
