Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
