Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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