This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
