I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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