Your face is a jimmy john
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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