That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
