the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
