everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i believe in u and ur pee
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
