he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
