drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
