ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
