Soap is not a condiment
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
