OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
