weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
