we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
