Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
