I heard we made out
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
