My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
