There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
