my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
