Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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