I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize