Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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