he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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