Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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