just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
