i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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