I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Still dying that you shit outside
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
