i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
