You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
