i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
