it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
