Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
plz talk dirty to me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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