He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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