i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I would ride that face into the sunset
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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