what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Say something about gay babies.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
