just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
